Random Observations: Week 5 Edition
(and yes, you will be tested on this)

Big bend: Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger said people were worrying him after his knee injury at the end of the Monday night game. Teammates on the sideline were telling him to look up at the jumbo-tron to "see how bad it looks".

Signs it's gonna be a rough year in San Francisco: Rookie Alex Smith began his career with a predictably shaky start against the Colts on Sunday. He completed passes to ten different players. Seven of them were on his team.

Signs it's gonna be a horrible year in San Francisco: Midway through the first quarter, Alex Smith was the team's leading tackler. No joke.

Packin' it in: Najeh Davenport scored the first two rushing touchdowns of the year for the Packers on Sunday. We're heading into week 6 and the Packers have two rushing touchdowns? And both are by Davenport?

What a Dick: In the new reality trainwreck on ESPN entitled "Bound for Glory", Dick Butkus goes back to Montour High School to coach football. The whole time Butkus yells at the kids and accuses them of having no heart. According to the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Butkus bailed on the team with two games left in the season citing that "he'd fulfilled his contract for the show". Nice lesson on heart there, coach.

Oldies but goodies: Have you ever noticed that players are "old" and "washed up" when they're struggling, but the same exact guys show "veteran leadership" when they play well? (See: Drew Bledsoe, Mark Brunell, and Vinny Testaverde)

Love on the open seas: After the scandal involving some Vikings players allegedly participating in a "love-fest" on a cruise ship, if the Bears don't play the theme from "The Love Boat" when the Vikings are introduced on Sunday, they're really missing a golden opportunity.

It's Fantastic!: Sorry if I seem a little distracted today. I can't quite pull myself away from that preseason NBA action.

Odd-ballers: Speaking of the NBA... I know I don't usually talk about non-football stuff, but this was way too good to pass up. Basketball has instituted a new dress code where players will have to wear a coat and, Heaven forbid, a tie while traveling. Nuggets center, Marcus Camby says that the only way players will go along with this dress code is if they receive additional compensation. Said Camby, "I don't see it happening unless every NBA player is given a stipend to buy clothes". Mr. Camby, by the way, has a $45 million contract with Denver. Okay, if that's not bad enough, non-practicer Allen Iverson said that players wearing coats and ties "sends a bad message to kids". I couldn't make that up if I tried.

Broken wings: To start the season, would you have thought that after week 5 the Eagles would be holding down last place in the NFC East? Yeah me neither.

Some guys just don't "play the game": Arizona fullback Obafemi Ayanbadejo is now officially number one on my hate list. Ayanbadejo was quoted as saying (and I quote), "Fantasy football is lame. Period. It's stupid as hell." He'd probably like it a lot more if everyone didn't think he sucked. BASS!

Red bird report: The 2005 Cardinals are still looking for their first win in the United States.

Genius of the week: Jacksonville defensive tackle Marcus Stroud was killing me on the sidelines Sunday night. Stroud told kicker Josh Scobee right before a field goal attempt, "Gimme three. At least."

Old man winter: How old is Vinny Testaverde really? Jets quarterback coach Jeremy Bates was a ball boy for the Browns when Testaverde played in Cleveland.

Jonesin' for a healthy back: Sunday was a bad day for running backs named Jones. Thomas, Kevin, and Julius all suffered injuries.

I smell a sit-com: When asked who he'd most like to be stranded with on a desert island, Cowboys rookie lineman Rob Petitti said without hesitation "Bill Parcells". That's either pretty scary, or extremely funny.

Drink up: Take a shot every time Ron Jaworski says something about "the juice" and take two shots every time James Brown says "paydirt". Warning: only attempt this if you don't care about the games that day, because you won't make it through the pre-game.